My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
