i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
