I hate all girls vehemently.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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