i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
