Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
