who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You're my little dorito
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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