Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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