u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
