just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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