If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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