thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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