ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We left the knife in your bed.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
