I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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