just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What drink are we having for lunch?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
This toilet bowl is my home.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
