I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
