connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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