i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have aggressive nipples.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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