at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
sex in a hospital.. check
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
