Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
