Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
