let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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