Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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