She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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