a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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