I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
