When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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