The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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