He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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