Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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