Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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