considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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