Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
