Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
