Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
