Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
