so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
