i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
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He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
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Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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