Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
