Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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