remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
