The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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