Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
