Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the day after is always just damage control
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
