Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize