For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
