Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
