that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
