Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
His nipple licking is glorious
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