Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the day after is always just damage control
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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