She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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