i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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