I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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