You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
the liver wants what the liver wants
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
