worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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