I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
