Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
