LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
