no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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