Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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