I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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