The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
