Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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