You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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